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There are several things that can cause a relationship to break up. With a serious couple, it is a little more difficult than with one that has just started. If you are just in the beginning of a brand new girlfriend-boyfriend thing, there are three ways that, while not guaranteed to push him out of your life, they will most definitely not help matters. In a not-so-serious involvement with a partner, male or female in many cases, you do not want to push too hard, too soon. Three things that can push that special someone away if done too soon are showing that you are desperate, becoming too possessive, and becoming too needy. First of all, many single people, especially if they have been single for a long time, fall into the trap of being desperate. It may not be what they have intended, but sometimes we feel things that we know we should not feel. The art, however, of living with being lonely is to not let it show. Once you start showing that you are desperate, just like job interviews and loan applications, if they smell it, you could be looking at their backs as they are walking away. Sad as it may be, commitment is not the easiest thing for everyone. All of this includes saying the L word too soon. The best thing to do with that is to lay low and wait. If he or she doesn’t say it in the time frame you think they should or that is satisfactory to you, put them on a list that says they are just for fun, or move on completely. Do not waste your time trying to get something you want when it just may not happen with that person. Secondly, becoming too possessive for the type of relationship you have with this person can send him or her running in the opposite direction. While it is ok to show that you like being with the person and to make a standing date now and then, becoming jealous or showing too much possessiveness can be detrimental to a new relationship. Many times, if it is just a little bit of time into the involvement, they wonder if you are this jealous over a casual relationship, what kind of things can they expect from you in a serious relationship. Be careful of showing too much too soon in this way. Finally, in the same category as being desperate and possessive, be careful of being too needy for your new partner. Let them have some alone time, or just friends time. If this is going to go the way you want it to, into a serious relationship, let them get that all out of their systems. Constantly trying to be with them as much as you can may be a first instinct, but take some time out for yourself as well. Chances are, if you are going to be together permanently, having that away time from him or her will make them think about what you are doing. Spending time with a loved one is always what you want, but sometimes you can smother them without intending to. With these three guidelines, you can often avoid a new relationship becoming tiring or boring. Do not show that you are desperate, even if you are. Watch the possessiveness of your attitude, depending on how long your relationship has gone on. And try not to become needy. Be independent, and it will usually be something that your new partner appreciates in you, especially men.
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